It`s easy to feel like you`ve failed when the divorce raises your head, but you need to keep this statement in mind: a divorce doesn`t mean you`ve failed! It`s understandable to look back on a relationship and wonder where things went wrong, but when you allow yourself to feel like you`ve failed, you open up the possibility of negative feelings creeping in and implanting themselves in your thinking. It`s never easy to get divorced. When a divorce is brought before the courts, it can be particularly difficult. We`ve rounded up 21 ways to stay calm during divorce and reduce the negative side effects of divorce in your family`s life and how you can be a mentally healthier and stronger person on the other end. Be sure to wear business attire and follow the court`s dress code. You should dress like you would in a job interview. If you don`t know what to wear, ask us for advice. But divorce is not an easy task. Not only is it emotionally difficult, but the divorce system itself comes with procedural and legal complexities that can seem so overwhelming. Allow yourself to mourn this loss and understand that you have already shared a life together, no matter what happened to cause the divorce.
No matter how angry or hurt you are during a breakup and divorce, it`s still okay to mourn lost love. There`s nothing wrong with accepting that a relationship has ended with someone you love, who you may have children with, and invested your time and energy over the years. A therapist can give you tools you can rely on if you`re feeling frustrated and upset, such as listening to your ex-partner give their side of the story in court — one you may not particularly agree with. Instead of interrupting with an argument, you could practice mindfulness – the practice of peacefully accepting what is without trying to change it. Or you can do quiet deep breathing exercises. A therapist will help you use these types of tools at critical times so that your emotions don`t run away with you. Not only can it help you stay calmer in court, but it can also help you stay calm and rational during other difficult times in other parts of your life. To reduce the stress of not knowing what to expect, try to learn as much as you can about your state`s divorce process. You`ll find that just knowing the next step in the process can have a calming effect on the unknown.
There are several books and online resources you can research to learn the process in your area. At O`Connor Family Law, we take lemons and turn them into lemonade. We can help you process a divorce because we`ve been there before. Our team will help you every step of the way, protecting your rights and defending you from attacks from your spouse. If you need further assistance, contact Caulder and Valentine`s lawyers. Our experienced lawyers can answer your questions and work to achieve the best possible outcome in your divorce. Contact us today at (704) 470-2440. Sometimes we just want to bury our heads in the sand and tell our lawyer to take care of the whole divorce. Of course, this is not realistic. Not knowing what`s going on can almost always be more stressful than knowing. How you conduct yourself in court could influence or undo the judge`s opinion about your overall liability and ultimately affect your case. Be present, turn off your phone and don`t take children to court.
Arrive at court on time and stick to your lawyer. Don`t engage with your ex-spouse in the hallway or argue with him, because you never know who might be listening. Just as important as not attacking your spouse is refusing revenge if he gets angry. Remember that cooler heads prevail; Here are some tips to help you stay calm in the midst of an unpleasant divorce. Over the past twenty-five years, we have discussed various ways for our clients to stay calm during the divorce process and reduce the negative side effects of a divorce in their lives. We hope that one or more of these tips can help you get out of the divorce process as a mentally healthier and stronger person. One of the biggest causes of anxiety when a divorce begins is not understanding the process. Even if your own parents divorced when you were a child, you might have been protected from all the emotional and legal battles to come. It`s also the perfect time to reassess your finances. Once your divorce is final, you should know exactly where you stand financially.
Meet with a financial expert to make sure you`re on track to be where you want to be financially in the near future and in the long term. Representing yourself in court will save you money on a lawyer. So why not invest those savings in yourself by consulting a therapist if you can? Separation, divorce and custody disputes are painful and difficult. No one expects you to feel on top of the world all the time. You just need to be able to control your emotional reactions in court. Therapy can give you the tools you need to do this. Look at it this way: you have made the decision to continue your life. It may not be easy – in fact, it may seem almost impossible – but the sooner you are able to stop getting angry about the other person`s actions (or lack thereof), the sooner you`ll be on the road to recovery. Well, while you`re dealing with divorce negotiations, it`s a good incentive to start. Stop focusing on being so disappointed and angry with the other person. Focus on the future.
What is important to you? Which will be in the best interest of your children. Even though most of us would rather climb under a rock and hide until we are cheerful and independent, it is useless for you to do it alone. Contact your support system or create a new one. It could be as simple as joining a Facebook group to divorce people, or an online support group through a site like Meetup. Psychology Today also has a searchable database useful for divorce support groups across the country.